Coping with Sexual and Physical Abuse
Sharing Ideas that may work
33,356 rape cases were reported in India in 2018 of which in 31,320 they were committed by a known person - A whopping 93.89%. 27.2% of women are sexually abused in India - the world average is 35%. Therefore it may be said that every lady knows a few ladies who have been sexually abused. The percentage of women affected by physical abuse are likely to be substantially higher.
Abuse can be of one of many types
- Physical
- Sexual
- Mental
- Psychological
- Emotional
- Threat
- Fear
We can consider ourself extremely fortunate that we have not been victim of any of the stated types of abuse. That much said it is important to know how to cope with the stigma, trauma, and dent to self image due to such events and / or indicidents.
I have worked out a formulation that has worked for many.
The two-chair method
In this method two chairs are kept in the room of a therapist facing each other. It can be done without a therapist as well. The client sits alternately on the two chairs and speaks to the other 'me' that has been affected by one of the abuses. We call the two occupants A and B. This is how the dialogue can go.
Experiencing Larger than Me Image
We are many selves. Universal self, family self, self, I, me, body, ego. We need to find out which are the selves that are hurt. We now imagine ourself to be a larger self. This is done by sitting quietly in a pleasant quiet environment. Then listing the many selves. We get to progressively imagine ourself to be larger self than the previous self. Then we allow the lower self to drop off us. Now there is nothing sticking to us. Like is my body tainted when my shirt is tainted. Or is my body tainted when my shoe is tainted. Or am I tainted when something falls on the dining table while eating. Similarly we can distance ourself from the part of the whole which is affected and get rid of the pain, trauma, shame and guilt that occurs because of our association.
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