We need to look at the three pronged control system that controls our thinking, feeling, attitudes, behaviour, action responses, perception, evaluation, assessment, conclusion, judgements, related to ourselves, others, situations, problems, difficulties, conditions of life, challenges and conflicts etcetera.
The first of the three is the psychic organisation of our mind. To know more about the same based on personality theory of Transactional Analysis please read my blogposts at : Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice: Structure of Personality and Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice: Structural Models of Personality
The second of the three is the methods we have got accustomed to use to gain attention, praise / criticism and recognition for our behaviour, speech, actions, doings etcetera.
The third and the most important is the life plan that got designed in times before we were seven years old based on our relationship with our care takers, mythical thinking, imagined roles and expectations belied which formulated a life plan which we honestly live out in adult life. Fate is what we are born with, It is this plan that builds our destiny. You can read about the same in Transactional Analysis theory in my blogposts at Transactional Analysis Theory - Introduction to Script and Transactional Analysis Theory - What Makes Script Possible; Can I do something about it?
I hope this background will provide you with all the questions that you have raised.
