Why are we the way we are? Is it desire, compulsion or destiny?

We need to look at the three pronged control system that controls our thinking, feeling, attitudes, behaviour, action responses, perception, evaluation, assessment, conclusion, judgements, related to ourselves, others, situations, problems, difficulties, conditions of life, challenges and conflicts etcetera.

The first of the three is the psychic organisation of our mind. To know more about the same based on personality theory of Transactional Analysis please read my blogposts at : Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice: Structure of Personality and Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice: Structural Models of Personality

The second of the three is the methods we have got accustomed to use to gain attention, praise / criticism and recognition for our behaviour, speech, actions, doings etcetera.

The third and the most important is the life plan that got designed in times before we were seven years old based on our relationship with our care takers, mythical thinking, imagined roles and expectations belied which formulated a life plan which we honestly live out in adult life. Fate is what we are born with, It is this plan that builds our destiny. You can read about the same in Transactional Analysis theory in my blogposts at Transactional Analysis Theory - Introduction to Script and Transactional Analysis Theory - What Makes Script Possible; Can I do something about it?

I hope this background will provide you with all the questions that you have raised.

Personality, Mind, Brain and Body

When the psyche is affected, the mind is affected. When the brain is affected the body is affected. There is also a subtle connection between the mind and the brain. That is why when the psyche or the mind is affected, body is also affected.

In my opinion our mind controls us more than our brain. The operations of thinking and feeling do take place in our brain. But they reflect in our mind. The sources of psyche are also in the brain. Their activation organises the nature of thoughts and feelings. Therefore though the operative structural components are located in the brain, they manifest in our mind.

All this together forms a complex psychological whole. The psychological whole is understood in psychology through the medium of personality. Therefore for the purpose of common understanding it is the study of personality that helps the psychologist to understand the operations of the brain and of the mind and of the psyche in treating patients.

Psyche: Memory caches in the brain.

Mind : The virtual space in which the brain's output is observed and felt by us.

Mind is name for the set of faculties including cognitive aspects such as consciousness, imagination, perception, thinking, intelligence, judgement, language and memory, as well as noncognitive aspects such as emotion and instinct.

Brain : The principal organ of our neural system.

Personality : The characteristic manner in which our thoughts, feelings, perceptions, assessments, evaluations and conclusions happen when we face or deal with people, events, happenings, incidents, occurrences, situations, problems, difficulties, conditions, challenges, dilemmas - real, actual, imagined, fantasised our recalled. Personality shows up in terms of our characteristic behaviour patterns, and the manner in which we present ourselves to others and in various ordinary and stressed life situations.