Intelligence and Wisdom

Intelligence without Wisdom is beastly.

Wisdom with intelligence makes a complete man.

Ways in which doing DIY jobs helps

Doing Do It Yourself (DIY) at home helps in 

1. Critical Thinking, 
2. Rational Thinking, 
3. Problem Solving, 
4. Learning from Mistakes, 
5. Gaining Bodily Motor Control,
6. Gaining Motor Skills,
7. Developing a Thinking Mind,
8. Innovativeness, 
9. Risk Taking and 
10. Decision Making.

Self Control / How to Exercise Self Control

Learning to control ourself is not as difficult as it looks.

To begin with recite these commitments every morning for a week. You will start gaining awareness and control by then. If it takes time be patient and keep repeating till it comes to you.

1. I am a capable person.
2. I gain awareness of things I do requiring control.
3. I gain control when I address my mind to that effect.
4. I am a person capable and empowered to of control myself.

Then when you become aware address your mind thus:

Hey my mind. I need your help and assistance. Please exercise control over this (mention the item requiring control). It could be

1. A thought
2. A feeling
3. An emotional hype
4. A behaviour
5. An urge
6. An impulse
7. A drive
8. A desire
9. A need
10. An yearning
11. A bad dream
12. A deep want

Then thank your mind for helping you.

Remember - pride and grandiosity are killers.

Do we shape the world or does the world shape us

Do we shape the world or does the world shape us

This is a very interesting question that you have asked. I commend you for asking it.

I will first offer in common man’s language from a transactional analysis perspective and then answer at the end.

Our relationship with the world is bilateral.

Our life begins in childhood. Our parents and caretakers are the only persons who interact with us mainly - atleast till we are five years old. Our siblings start interaction around three years of our age. Their interaction is nominal.

Our parent’s treatment meeted to us shapes our personality. This process continues till we are 25 years old. (1)

• In childhood - Our parents
• In school - The significant teachers
• In growing years - our peers
• In teens - our significant elders
• In late teens - our peers / teachers / professors / employers / world at large

Our need is to survive and perform. We are cornered on many occasions at least in our early years of life. Our capacity to think, to feel, to belong, to love and be loved, to be close, to perform, to succeed, to be important, to enjoy our sexuality, to feel growing or grown up / or to feel small and young, to have a distinct identity, and in the extreme to exist and be sane are mildly, moderately or severly imposed due to parental pressure. (2) Our need to survive and perform is accordingly affected. We make some choices in this regard. They stick on till we are of old age in most cases. In addition to this we are sort of taught to feel certain feelings and not feel certain feelings. The feelings that we learn in this manner are to feel angry, hurt, pained, sad, afraid, cornered, victimised, good, good for nothing, bothered, blamed, and many more. What is the result of this. No matter what environment we face we feel the feeling we are trained to feel. Many people report feeling different feelings and emotions in the same circumstances. But they all mostly feel the feeling they feel in many different circumstances. Our personality is thus formed. With personality comes attitude. Our attitude shows up by the way we perceive, evaluate, assess, and draw conclusions. Our attitude may be parent-like dominant or child-like dominant or age appropriate grown up adult like dominant. It could be prejudiced, or deluded, or suspecting or biased or non accepting, or aggressive or assertive or sympathetic, or asympathetic.

Thus we understand the world according to our programmed personality. (3) The world, events, happenings, incidents, and people are what they are. We interpret them as per our personality structure and respond accordingly. People in the world also treat us in response to our behaviour and their interpretation of our behaviour.

Now I answer your question: Do we shape the events or do the events shape us?

Our relationship is bilateral. Meaning we shape the world and the world keeps shaping us too. We keep on getting out of the world what we need according to our programming - this is required for our survival and performance. People in the world also do the same. Therefore we are in a world that could be described as a place of a lot of commotion. This leads to lack of happiness and peace in the minds of a majority of people.

Therefore one needs to understand and answer these questions:

1. What type of person am I - take MBTI, OCEAN and VAK tests to know.
2. What types of persons are there with whom I interact. 16 X 5 X 3 Mainly with sub categories of 12 X 5. That makes 14,400 types of people.
3. How many possibilities exist due to the way human behaviour changes - the same person behaves differently with change in place, time, position, role, conditions / circumstances. That is 25 possibilities. This brings possibilities to 3,60,000. Now we have a typical assumed image of ourself, others particular, others generally about our life, and about what we want out of life and how. These make 25 possibilities. So the total number of possible ways in which we present ourselves and find others presenting themselves is an astounding 9 million.

So now I leave you to draw your own conclusions about me, my thinking, about yourself and the world. Good luck.

Most of these conclusions are drawn from my long years of study of transactional analysis theory.

(1) As per Stages of Human Development

(2) Injunctions in Transactional Analysis - See Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice

(3) Programming in childhood - See Transactional Analysis Theory - Parental Programming and Script

How Conflicts Arise

We can be (1) telling / sharing / talking (2) discussing (3) debating or (4) arguing.

When one converts to another conflict sets in.

An end with amity can ensue when parties agree and accept the existence of conflict.

Brahman and Atman

It is a very simple thing to understand if our mind is receptive, and free of beliefs and pre-conceptions.

Every single thing is an aspect / part of the whole. The whole is the universal whole. The part is a part whole. The wholeness is not affected, not of the being of the part whole nor of the being of the universal whole - the universal wholeness is called the Brahman and the part wholeness is called the Atman.

Therefore whether the part be part of an atom, molecule, substance, material, matter - living or non living or virus it is both a part and an aspect of the whole, and therefore the whole. A drop in the water is not separate from the body of water - this in the ocean, sea, river, lake, pond, tank, stream, a glass in our hand or for that matter as moisture, dampness, steam or in the atmosphere. The water everywhere is the same water.

Now we come to the Atman. The whole atman is the universal atman or the Universal Being - the Brahman. The part whole - is what we refer to or call the Atman.

This is the essence of spiritualism.

This Universal Being is actually the Being of the Universal.

It manifests as being of presence / existence, existence, energy and cause of creation, destruction and change.

About God

God is a name for the Universal Being - The Being of the Universal Whole, its existence, omni presence, omnipotence and omniscience as manifestations.

About Mind

Activities take place in the brain. These activities are experienced by us in the following ways:

1. Thinking
2. Feeling
3. Emotions
4. Perceiving
5. Evaluating
6. Assessing
7. Concluding
8. Deciding
9. Exploring
10. Rationalising
11. etcetera of these

These experiences are called states of our mind. The states are ‘of our mind’ from this we can understand what our mind is and how it is related to the brain.

Knowing Soul

It is a very simple thing to understand if our mind / brain is receptive

Every single thing is an aspect / part of the whole. The whole is the universal whole.

Therefore whether the part be part of an atom, molecule, substance, material, matter - living or non living or virus it is both a part and aspect of the whole and therefore the whole. A drop in the water is not separate from the body of water - this in the ocean, sea, river, lake, pond, tank, stream, a glass in our hand or for that matter as moisture, dampness, steam or in the atmosphere. The water everywhere is the same water.

Now we come to the soul. The whole soul is the universal soul or the Universal Being. The part soul - is the soul.

This is the essence of spiritualism.

This Universal Being is the Being of the Universal.

It manifests as being of presence / existence, existence, energy and cause of creation, destruction and change.

Realising this is knowing the Soul.

I hope the question is answered.

Dreams - How created and experienced

Dreams are spun out of the memories that are stored in the memory caches of the brain.

There are unresolved problems of the previous days, in our life, and generally.

Dreams are generally meant to resolve these problems. When not so, dreams are like those of children.

The brain goes to rest when we go to sleep. All its functions are transferred to the medula. So we do not dream. We experience dreamless sleep. When the brain is ‘repaired’ its functions are restored. Once this happens our brain retrives memories from the memory caches and spins a dream relevant to the problem.

Such dreams can be

1. Ending in a dead end
2. Losing one’s way
3. Experiencing loss
4. Facing a unsurmountable wall
5. Left in lurch
6. Confusion
7. Cheated
8. Trapped in small spaces
9. Experiencing being cramped between walls
10. Experiencing breathlessness

So next time you have a bad dream, know what problem is unresolved.

Distinction between Aggressive and Assertive People

An assertive person upholds respect, value, worth and dignity in self and others.

An aggressive person fails to uphold respect, value, worth and dignity in self and others.

Aggressive people are arrogant, interact one up and put down others.

Changing Thinking Feeling Patterns

Changing Thinking Feeling Patterns

Replacing old by new is a good practice.

Accompanying it with a resolve helps.

The old will keep cropping up for upto three years. That is my personal experience. It is good not to feel sad, bad, incompetent or angry.

Recite commitments about new practices in the morning till the replacement occurs. I use the following structure:

I am committed to take an initiative and respond sanely, safely, effectively and by generating win-wins.

Being Mentally Strong

Being Mentally Strong

Some people are born mentally strong. Others  become mentally strong 

• After facing difficulties in life.
• By virtue of training. 
• As a result of spiritual upliftment
• Seeing / witnessing facts of life first hand.
• They are not easy going in nature and do not take things things to heart.

Here are some qualities of mentally strong people.

1. Being quiet, cool, composed, unperturbed even in difficult, challenging and crisis situations.

2. They know and believe blaming does not help in the prevailing condition.

3. They have few expectations of others.

4. They sit for a while compose themselves and think about what needs to be done.

5. They know and believe they have a role to play.

6. They get down to collecting the debris and putting things in order.

7. They are counter phobic.

8. They assume responsibility.

9. They are given to taking lead roles.

10. They know everybody is not the same. People have varied talents.

11. They give their best in all situations.

12. They are natural problem solvers.

13. They display optimism.

14. They believe someone has to it. Let me do it.

15. They are disposed to accept challenges.

16. They are optimistic.

17. They fight temptations.

18. They are self disciplined.

19. They get down to work instead of waiting for someone to tell them.

20. They are strong and courageous.

Time Management

Time Management

Time management is the process of planning and exercising conscious control of time spent on specific activities, especially to increase effectiveness, efficiency, and productivity. Wikipedia

“Time management” is the process of organizing and planning how to divide your time between specific activities. Good time management enables you to work smarter – not harder – so that you get more done in less time, even when time is tight and pressures are high. Failing to manage your time damages your effectiveness and causes stress." . . . Mind Tools

Time Management is very similar to Goal Setting in many ways. In goal setting we prioritize goals on basis of importance, urgency, priority, gain, outcome and many more needs and parameters. Goals are achieved by having achievement plans for them, earmarking objectives and related activities by earmarking resources for the purpose.

We have limited time and unlimited things to do for a busy person. This is all the more true for a person who has no subordinate staff and even if one does have, the person cannot delegate with a free mind. Therefore the need for both work /tasks management and  time management. At a point in 1993 there were time diaries sold out of Singapore. Business diaries were yet to come into popular use.  In time diary jobs were arranged on the basis of the following parameters:

1. Urgency
2. Importance
3. Time Dedication
4. Money's Worth
5. Single or Networked
6. Will it block a process

Then alongside this was time management. It was based on types of activities. Here is an indicators list:

1. Personal
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Social
5. Business
6. Meetings
7. Exercise
8. Sports
9. Entertainment & Recreation
10. Socialising
11. Training
12. Seminars & Conferences
13. Rest / Work Break
14. Chat / Coffee Break
15. Hobbies
16. Shopping
17. Buying
18. Exploring
19. Research
20. Education
21. Travel

Now everybody has 365 days, 12 months, 52 weeks, 24 hours.

Time management is much like financial management in this regard. Time is asset. Each of the 20 odd activities are liabilities or expenses. So how to allocate work / activities against available time over a year is time management.

Remember time is a resource. We need to allocate half time extra or 66% work against time so that we do not rush. 

Improving Visualisation

Improving Realisation

Improving Visualisation

Visualising means creating a mental image of any object, thing, person, situation, problem etcetera.

Here are some things one can do for the purpose:

1. Notice
2. Become aware
3. Observe
4. Examine
5. Study
6. Think
7. Explore in depth
8. Go to Google / Quora to get answers
9. Add to knowledge
10. Share with at least three others / create a blog.

We have many types of intelligences. Some are listed here:

1. Language
2. Number
3. Number Operations
4. Objects Shapes
5. Objects 3d
6. Visualising 3d
7. Conceptualising
8. Problem Solving
9. Emotions
10. Spiritual

One can apply visualisation techniques in these and many other areas.

Personality Development

Personality Development

Personality development is the relatively enduring pattern of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that distinguish individuals from each other. The dominant viewpoint in personality psychology indicates that personality emerges early and continues to develop across one's lifespan.

Personality means very many things in different contexts. Here are a few:

1. How we carry ourselves;
2. How we appear to others;
3. Our physical, mental, intellectual, emotional, responsive, behavioural get-up;
4. Our capacity to deal with people;
5. How we deal with situations, problems and difficulties;
6. Our Are we stressed-up, cool, at ease, slow, fast, mercurial, anxious, worried;
7. Are we biased, opinionated, judgemental;
8. Are we temperamental or level-headed;
9. Do we come up as parent like (controlling, authoritative, persecuting, nurturing, helpful, assisting) child like (playful, inquisitive, energetic, curious, vibrant, complying, mischievous, rebellious, destructive, risk taking, impulsive, moody) or adult like (rational, logical, weighing, evaluating, assessing, drawing conclusions, mature)
10. Are impressive, dependable, confident, or ordinary, non dependable, not confident.

The encyclopedia of psychology defines personality as : Personality refers to individual differences in characteristic patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving. The study of personality focuses on two broad areas: One is understanding individual differences in particular personality characteristics, such as sociability or irritability. The other is understanding how the various parts of a person come together as a whole.

Coming again to personality development. It could be viewed from the following perspectives:

1. A study of the components of personality that adults have and how they ended up having them.
2. An investigation into the life experiences that moulded a person's thinking, feeling, behaviour, attitude, opinionating to its present form.
3. How a person gets to respond to prevailing situations, problems, difficulties, conditions of life, challenges and what factors may have contributed to the typical pattern.
4. Moulding people's personality to serve a desired need, purpose in life, sport, occupation, role, profession, activity, engagement or while undergoing a situation requiring coping as in cases of divorce, loss, grief, guilt, remorse, anxiety, depression etcetera.
5. A training programme structured to serve a life, occupational, service, role or purpose.

These are two good sites to know more about this topic and also to learn it's various other dimensions:

1. http://www.personalitydevelopment.org/

2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_development
3. The link to this blog: reflectionsofapk

Inner Peace

Inner Peace

(Words and terms in bold are explained in notes below.)

What is inner Peace

Inner peace is elusive #1. As yet is is not difficult to conceive. Inner peace is experienced:

1. When our mind is cradled in its own pristine nature. 

2. When we live in a sansaric world #2, but do not allow sansara #3 to dwell in us.

3. When we know mother nature as it is.

4. When we know and accept that each one of us is only a phenomenon.

5. When we work to understand each of the foregoing.

6. When we choose to move and move again and again #4 into the restfulness of inner peace during a day every day of our life.

7. When we have a taste of sansara #3 but choose not to enjoy it or get wrapped in it.

Achieving inner peace 

It is not easy as yet not impossible. We do not need to give up life, give up being a householder, quitting activity or work, going to an ashrams, serving godmen, staying in jungles or himalayas to obtain it.  I say this being one who has worked for over 50 years to be getting to enjoy it effortlessly. This without having a guru, not being a worshipper, knowing not praying to a God, not being follower of any religion in particular. This is how I obtained it.

1. Believing that if I am a good Shishya (by mastering disciple-hood) gurus will come, impart and go.

2. By knowing God first hand #5. (Read material at links below) The word God is only a tool to identify an existence. Nothing less, nothing more. It could as well be any other word. God is everywhere, all the time, manifesting as energy, creative principle. God to me manifests in all personalised aspects but not a personal God. God is the being of existence, permeating all existence and at the same time holding, supporting, nurturing and caring for it. Be it living or non living, small as an atom or large as a star.

3. By being committed to being good and doing good.

4. By touching a human life a day.

5. Using every presenting opportunity to explore God - with the intention of knowing.

6. Working hard, exerting self for long hours. Doing work as service, having no expectation.

7. Helping people whosoever we come in contact with to be better, do better, prosper, care and be and do good.

8. Being of assistance without expectation of return or recognition.

9. Achieving a state of happy mind #6 by engaging in five activities - see note below.

10. There is useful material presented by Stracy Brookman titled Strategies to gain Inner Peace and Harmony - at link below titled Finding Inner Peace #7

#1 Elusive: Something that is difficult to find, catch or achieve.

#2 Sansaric World: A world of change, full of events, wants, needs, seeking, wanting more and more, competitiveness, ego dominance, position, prestige and power seeking, expectation and anticipating, locked in accomplishing, locked in things to do and reflecting on things done, wanting love, affection and recognition without accepting self, others and reality as it is.

#3 Sansara: Being muddled with or in constituents of the sansaric world.

#4 we choose to move and move again and again: We seek it more and more like people with a sweet tooth cannot resist eating sweets and chocolates or addicts cannot resist having more and more of the substance or item of addiction.

#5 achieving inner peace: means working incessantly day and night, using each moment, and not giving up. 

#6 knowing God first hand Link to Blog 1, Link to Blog 2, , Link to Blog 3,  Link to Blog 4

#state of happy mind Achieving a happy mind state

#7 Finding Inner Peace

https://medium.com/real-life-resilience/strategies-to-find-your-balance-and-inner-peace-28531c07bb44

Realising Brahman - 3

Realising Brahman - 3

Omnipresence (Omnipresent - Present Everywhere at the same tim), Omnipotence (Omnipotent - All Powerful), Omniscience (Omnicient - All Knowing) 

The Universal presence.

The substrate that manifests variously.

The being of existence small or big.

The is-ness of being.

The principle behind change. 

The non ending expanse that holds and permeates.

The beginning and end in a cycle no matter where we assume it starts.

All knowing and knowledge itself.

The blissful joy that is mind-less

The giver receiver causer.

The consciousness that lends experience.

The Universal presence; Thesubstrate that manifests variously; The being of existence small or big; The is-ness of being; The principle behind change; The non ending expanse that holds and permeates; The beginning and end in a cycle no matter where we assume it starts; All knowing and knowledge itself; The blissful joy that is mind-less; The giver receiver causer; The consciousness that lends experience; Thus I experientially know God as Omnipresence, Omnipotence and Omniscience.

Realising Brahman - 2

Realising Brahman - 2

1 Ashareeram:  “without  a  body”.  The  association  of  the  Self  to  a  body  is  the  result  of It  being  reflected  in  the  intellect  of  the  individual  being.  Without  interference  from  the intellect,  It  has  no  such  association  to  a  body;  It  is  bodiless;  It  is  the  same  Self  in  all bodies. There  are  no  boundaries  to  the  Self.  Our  meditation  is  thus  directed  to  take  us  beyond body-consciousness. This  technique  is  taken  up  further  later  in  this  text. The  Self,  in  the  body,  remains  the  Self  and  does  not  become  the  body.  It  is  totally non-attached  to  the  body,  and  goes  beyond  the  body.  Whether  the  body  is  that  of  a  King  or a  beggar,  the  Self  is  the  same  pure  substratum  in  both. 

2 Avasthitam:  “that  which  is  fixed;  the  permanent”.  With  reference  to  all  the Upadhis  that  are  associated  with  the  Self,  the  Self  is  fixed  or  permanent,  while  the  Upadhis are  Anavastheshu,  not  fixed  or  impermanent. 

3 Mahantam:  “very  large”;  which  cannot  be  locked  up  into  any  particular  object.  It  is pervasive  throughout  an  object  and  beyond  it.  That  is  to  be  meditated  upon.  Meditating.  in such  a  manner  one  attains  the  Self.

The  use  of  the  word  Atman  to  refer  to  the  Reality  is  significant,  because  we  are talking  of  the  Reality  with  reference  to  the  individual  body,  for  which  the  word  Atman  is more  appropriate  than  Brahman.  Brahman  is  the  collective;  Atman  is  the  individual. This  verse  is  a  Mahavakya  type  of  verse.  It  contains  all  the  essential  elements  of  the Brahman-Jiva  identity.  All  the  key  words  are  placed  in  the  same  case  (Dviteeya  Vibhakti),  viz. Ashiram,  Asthitam,  Mahantam,  and  Atmanam.  This  means  they  all  refer  to  the  same Reality. 

Three  Contradictions  in  the  Self : The  three  flashing  contradictions  in  the  verse  compel  us  to  remember  this  point about  having  a  subtle  intellect.  Acharyaji  was  intent  on  not  letting  these  further  examples  of contradictions  go  unnoticed. The  Bhashya  brings  out  the  hidden  teaching  in  them: 

1 i)  Sitting,  It  travels  far:  We  can  understand  the  body  remaining  in  one  place  while the  mind  travels  far  away  in  imagination.  This  line  is  not  about  this  type  of  ‘mental  travel’. This  is  about  the  Self  which  is  all-pervading.  There  isn’t  a  spot  that  it  does  not  occupy. Where  does  it  need  to  travel? That  is  the  riddle  raised.   2 ii)  Sleeping,  It  goes  everywhere:  Again,  when  we  are  asleep,  our  body  is  plottable on  an  x-y  axes  that  give  it  a  location,  but  the  mind  is  elsewhere  in  dream.  How  does  the  line apply  the  same  to  the  Self?  The  Self  does  not  act,  so  it  can  be  considered  as  good  as  asleep. It  is  not  possible  for  the  Self  to  go  about  everywhere  if  it  is  not  acting.   3 iii)  Joyful,  It  is  joyless:  The  third  contradiction  is  most  puzzling.  Humans  can express  joy  and  still  be  joyless  within.  But  the  Self  is  free  from  feeling  joy  or  sorrow.  It  is  said to  be  All-Bliss at  all  times.

Realising Brahman - 1

Realising Brahman

Realisation and emancipation Brahman

The cell from which all living forms are created is (converted) form of food *(anna-maya)*. Note here that anna itself is maya-roop.

The cell forms (grow into) bodies of creatures - from micro-organisms to man.

That (entity) which creates 'many' from 'one, is life.

The infusion (blowing into) of 'life' is caused by circumstances, (like for example soaking and dampness for seeds).

Therefore the truth - reality that is universal is more fundamental than life and cell (food).

That truth - reality that permeates 'all' everything is named 'isha' in the isha-upanishad. The first verse of isha upanishad says it all.

*All that moves and moves not is permeated by isha - ईशावास्यम् इदं सर्वं यत्किंच जगत्यांजगत् realise it and (then) live (your) life free of engaging in (without engaging in) wealth acquisition (of any kind) - तेन त्यक्तेन भुंजिता, मा ग्रुधा कस्यवित धनं)*

A grown up adult was once a child.

The child was once an infant.

The infant was once an embryo.

The embryo was once a sexless mass of cells.

The sexless mass of cells were once indeterminate.

The (that) indeterminate cells were generated from a single cell.

That single cell was generated by the fusion of cells from father and mother.

The cell each from father and mother was contributed by cells from their own parents.

All cells are form of food which is consumed by us.

Therefore anna-maya.

Cells survive because of life.

Therefore life is primary to existence of cells.

Life exists in inanimate objects and their systems as well - for example in the solar system.

Therefore reality and truth is primary to life.

Therefore all there is, is truth and reality which is primary to life.

Recalling things long forgotten

The fact is that we tell ourselves this. This thing is old. Many years have passed since this incident. It is difficult to remember. How can I remember something which I have forgotten. And so on and so forth. There is a simple alternative way which we can try out.

Things of the past, or minute things about the past, come back to me easily. This thing about the name of a friend from my class school days comes to me easily. Make sure what you want to remember otherwise you may start remembering things which are extremely undesirable.

How to be happy in life

Happy state of mind is generated by doing these things regularly.

1. Doing physical exercise over 40 minutes everyday.
2. Engaging in a goal oriented activity.
3. Gaining knowledge or learning on our own and sharing it with others.
4. Lending a helping hand for 5 times in a day to someone in need.
5. Hugging a person non sexually at least once a day if not more times.

These practices are helpful in rewarding us with a  happy state of mind. Our thinking, evaluating assessing and concluding will also fall in line with that in due course.

How to control an urge, impulse, drive, desire or need.

Question. How to delay or get rid of gratification of any urge, drive, impulse, desire or need.

This method is designed by me. You can use it freely. I am giving this example with urge as something to manage. Say this addressing your mind:

Hey my mind. I find that you are experiencing a strong urge to . . . . . . . . . . (Say whatever your be). I give you permission to let go of this urge. Please let go and return to restfulness. I will do the needful in this matter.

Now engage in any other activity. The desire for instant gratification will have gone away.

Note:

The same method can be used for managing or getting rid of troubling or undesirable thoughts, feelings and emotions.

What is Enlightenment

What is Enlightenment

To me enlightenment means landing to comprehend the reality of is-ness, being, existence, occurrence without cause or intentionality, timeless-ness and one-ness. This free of possession / possessiveness, free of belief and faith, and beyond frames of reason, theory and practice.

It is becoming one with consciousness of presence of the one, everywhere, always.

-----     -----     -----     -----     -----     -----     -----     -----     -----

This is the answer I posted on Quora today in reply to the titled question.

Types of Human Behaviour

Types of Human Behaviour

Popularly human behaviour is classified in four ways optimistic, pessimistic, trusting and envious. That much said I would tow line with my understanding on the basis of transactional analysis (TA) theory.

TA recognises three types of behaviour patterns - parent like, grown up adult like and child like. These are manifestations of three primary personality structural components named Parent, Adult and Child' respectively. Now Parent can show up as controlling or nurturing. In either case they can be growth and life supporting or growth and life denying. The first two are then named as positive and the latter two negative. The Adult shows up as data collecting, assessing and acuumslating Adult. The Child manifests as Adapted and Free Child. The Adapted Child in turn shows up as Rebellious and Compliant. There is a third type of Child called The natural Child. The Adapted and Free Child can in turn show up as productive or destructive. So in all there are fourteen types of Human behaviour.

1. Parent type - 4
2. Adult type - 3
3. Child type - 7

These can be distinguished on the basis of Verbal - Words, Sentence Structure, Tone, Volume, Stress, and Flow; and Non Verbal Facial Expressions and Gestures, Head Nods and Movements, Gestures with Hands, Pose and Posture - each signalling a distinct message individually and collectively too.

This was posted by me on Quora in reply to a question titled "What are the different types of Human Behaviour?"

Thoughts of Chanakya

Adapted from : Speaking Tree

15 GREAT THOUGHTS BY CHANAKYA

1) Learn from the mistakes of others.

2) Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first.

3)"Even a non-poisonous should pretend to be venomous.

4) The bitter truth is that there is  no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."

5) These three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful, establish destiny.

6)"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."

- Chanakya

7)"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."

- Chanakya

8)"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."

- Chanakya

9)"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."

- Chanakya

10)"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."

- Chanakya

11) "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."

- Chanakya

12) "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness."

- Chanakya

13) "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."

- Chanakya

14) "Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."

- Chanakya

15) "Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."

-Chanakya

Recitations for Better Living

These are recitations that will help us to orient our mind in time. Once in the morning as we get up and again before going to bed is enough.

Words of Praise

Bringing to mind things that are good on their own. 

I recite this. It is of great help. Tap here to read Reciting Wonderful

Gratitude

We receive air, water, food, shelter, safety, protection as ongoing experience.

Let us express gratitude for the same.

Thankfulness

Let us take time out to thank people who have been of help during the day. Not to forget our spouse, others at home even the maid and watchman at the society gate.

Commitments

I do some ten daily commitments. They help me to build up a frame that is helpful for happy living. Here is a link to my daily commitments : Daily Commitments

Request / hope

We can say this : I pray that all things turn out fine for me. Good things happen for me. Success comes easily to me.

Positive Orientation

We can say this again : All things turn out fine for me.

Managing Uncertainties

Uncertainities become manageable when we recite any mantra of our choice some ten times adding a reason which may read like this.

I am reciting ........ to be able to manage uncertainities well. And for them to happen to my advantage all the time.

______________________________________________________________

Positive Thinking

Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is thinking that promotes relief from stress, doubt, questions like what if or anxiety etcetera. Positive thinking also promotes hope and mental well being. It gets us to see the brighter side of things. It helps to convert critical thoughts into beneficial thoughts. Other ways of understanding positive thinking is that it constructive and productive thinking.

Two examples to elaborate. 

I am travelling outstation. Well into my journey I find that the meeting was for yesterday not today. I say to myself : "My god. All this is going to turn to naught. I have goofed it up." Soon my better self takes over and I run this thought in my mind. "Doesn't matter. I will stop at the toll and talk to the person on phone and find out if we can have a meeting today. And besides I have other jobs to do as well. So, no worries."

I am going to the station to catch a train. I run into a traffic jam. I cannot turn back and find another route because I am on a one way street. My mind would naturally think - "Oh! This had to happen now. I hope I reach the station on time and do not have to hurry up." Now being a positive thinker I restate as follows : "I have started well on time. Everything will turn out well." 

__________________________________________________________________

Story of Cimon and Pero

Story of Cimon and Pero 

(This is copied from a Quora Post)

I can guess you are making some negative assumptions after seeing this picture but before making any prejudice please read the story. It will bring tear in your eyes.

It is the real story of one of the European country.

There lived an old man named Cimon. He had no other relatives except his daughter Pero.

Once Cimon was sentenced to starvation till death.

As Cimon did not had any other relatives his daughter pleaded with the government to meet her father daily till his death. Fortunately she was granted the permission.

But there was one condition—Pero could not take any perishable items with her. When she visited, the guards would searched her, making sure no food could be snuck in.

On meeting her father and seeing his condition her heart sank.

She looked at her father with motherly eyes.

To provide him nourishment and keep him alive, she started breastfeeding him on a daily basis.

After many days when Cimon did not died, the prison guards spied on her and caught her breastfeeding Cimon!

They arrested Pero and presented her before jailor, but after hearing her selfless nature, the jailor freed her father, Cimon.

Such was the love of Pero. Her act of love is testimony of unconditional true love.

Parents love is common, but a child’s love towards them is rare!

This is an example of women displayIng such type of love. And that is why women are worshiped across all cultures and all over the world.

How Transactional Analysis helps in personal growth and professional development and transformation

How has Transactional Analysis helped me in my Personal and Professional Growth and Transformation.I

I learnt Transactional Analysis (TA) in 2005. I studied it for well over 10 years commencing 2007. Transactional Analysis contributed immensely for my personal growth and professional development. TA is a theory of Personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and personality development. For more please tap this link Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice: What is Transactional Analysis

Growth occurs when the old falls off and new takes its place. Transformation is complete overhaul and adopting new ways of perceiving, evaluating, assessing, concluding and responding to people, in handling events, incidents and occurrences, and in ending situations, solving problems, overcoming difficulties, tiding over conditions, facing challenges, resolving conflicts, building productive and rewarding relationships, overcoming failures and making decisions. Professional means the manner in which one conducts oneself in profession, work, business, activity, role related areas based on skills and attributes necessary for conduct of the same.

My gains are listed here:

1. This long list in understanding topically what gains are possible.
2. Interacting level in an open environment free of ulterior intentions or hidden agendas.
3. Testing subjective views against objective reality.
4. Free of the eleven thinking disorders.
5. Being sane, safe, effective, appropriate and generating win wins for all parties in the conduct of profession.
6. Having ability to end disputes amicably.
7. Being emotionally stable.
8. Assuming responsibility.
9. Taking leadership role.
10. Making interactions rewarding for all parties.
11. Being free of thinking disorders

For Thinking Disorders please tap this link

http://reflectionsofapk.blogspot.com/2020/05/types-of-unhealthy-or-defective.html

Types of unhealthy or defective thinking types

Types of unhealthy or defective thinking

Generalising 

In generalising the person takes a part for the whole or makes a part into whole. For example the person may say "I am not capable of understanding anything" instead of saying "I don't understand what you are saying". Another example is in the case of children, a child does not know a few sums in math. The child may say "I don't know math. It is very difficult."

Over-detailing 

In over-detailing the person uses a lot of explanation and unwanted other sentences to put across a point. For example the person may say : "what I wanted to tell you, and I don't think I can put it the way I want to tell you, is that I will not be coming tomorrow" instead of saying "I am not coming tomorrow." Reduntants are used.

Fantasising 

In fantasising the person is given to reading into a lot of things for nothing. For example if a person has not come, the subject becomes anxious and thinks that something untoward may have happened on the way.

Mulling and Ruminating 

In this condition the person gets lock jammed into thinking the same thing over and over and over again. As an example I happen to scratch someone's car by mistake in traffic. Then I keep on thinking I hope no one has seen me, I hope no security cameras have photographed and so on. I also lose the night's sleep as a result.

Globalising

I globalising a part is converted into a whole. Words such as ‘always’ or ‘never’, are used. I always forget to take my purse with me. I never get to be on time. are some examples. My parents never gift me with anything.

All or nothing

All or nothing is black and white thinking. They are all good or all bad. There is no room for grey areas.

Shoulds and Musts

These are pressurising words. I must go tomorrow or I should be on time are examples.

Labelling

If someone has taken a thing by mistake others label the person a thief. Or if a tenant has defaulted payment of rent the owner may call him a defaulter. If a person makes a mistake the boss may call him as an idiot or good for nothing. 

Mind reading

In mind reading we make up, imagine or as if read what the other may be thinking. I wonder what the other may be thinking because I did not make the scheduled phone call or answer his message. I will think that he may decide never to give me a job or engagement. 

Discounting 

Discounting is over valuing or undervaluing or not valuing or ignoring. Grandiosity, pleasing, overworking are some examples of discounting. So also is overlooking/

Forecasting

Forcasting is predicting. Reading into something without examining and reaching to conclusions. 

Emotional reasoning

I made a mistake. So I feel bad or guilty. Then I say to myself this : "I am good for nothing. I can never do anything right. I am a loser."

Blaming for no reason

Taking or putting blame when the person is not remotely responsible for the event. I may have told a lie in class. On coming home I find that my father loss his purse while travelling. I hold myself responsible for the loss incurred by my dad. A person given to this type of defect is oft to feel guilt.

The birth of religion, God and soul

In ancient times - times preceding onset of Buddhism - people of Bharatvarsh recognised that existence has fivefold constituents - space, heat (energy), matter, air and water mixed in different proportions. They also realised that life abounded and everything was controlled by universal  celestial laws eg. of birth, prime youth, old age and death. Merger into the undifferentiated and taking of many forms from the undifferentiated was a common occurrence and observation. Coming into presence / existence; creativity - creation and dissolution (read destruction) was a common feature accompanying change. Everyone of us was only meandering through or purposefully clearing his / her phenomenon in the cycle of existence. Any person capable of adopting a fourth perceptual dimension can visualise this drama of existence and dissolution not only as bodies, also as ongoing process within bodies.

These phenomena were ongoing events. There were causal factors but no causing entities. There were people who had divining powers.  There were people whose predictions came true. There were black magicians as well - the good and the evil. The former treated people and the latter brought misfortune on others at the behest of their customers.

9k-7k BCE is the era of which evidence of worship has been found. It was worship of the spirits of the dead, not of gods. 

2.2k BCE is the era of which formal worship of a variety of goddesses have been found in Sumeria - Crete. Formal religion was not in existence. 

1.7k - 1.1k BCE is the era of Vedas and worship of gods of Creator, Sustainer and Destroyer. As yet no formal religion can be identified. 

1500 is Vedic Age after collapse of Indus Valley Civilization but no Religion. 

Birth of formal religion

1450 BCE Hebrew Leader established Moses established Judaism as a monotheistic religion. 

1350-1100 BCE evidence of monotheistic religion in Egypt. 

1250-600 BCE first evidence of origins of Hinduism, also of Buddhism and Jainism. 

600-500 BCE five books of Torah written marking birth of Jewism. 

600 BCE start of Zorastrianism. 

600-500 BCE Confusianism establishing ideas of harmony and heaven. 

599-527 BCE Jainism formally established by tenets laid down by Mahavira. 

500 BCE Confucianism established. 

~450 BCE Buddhism established. 

250 BCE first Buddhist missionaries sent to far lands. 

140 BCE Sanskrit Grammar established by Panini. 

400 BCE - 33 CE Era of Christianity established.

70CE Birth of Rabbinic Judaism. 

570-632 Islam established. 

712 Shinto Texts in Japan. 

780-822 ADI Shankara consolidated Advaita Vedanta and spread Hinduism across India. 

1052-1135 Spread of Tibetan Buddhism. 

1469-1539 Sikhism established. 

1486-1534 Chaitanya Mahaprabhu revives Krishnite Hinduism. 

1872-1891 Bahaism established. 

Worship started as worship of spirits of the dead - with accompanying belief in after life. Then worship of a God around 1450 BCE. 

Humans moved from appreciating reality to belief in supernatural personal Gods who could be prayed and worshipped for a variety of reasons. Living a conditioned life expecting place in heaven and believing in a God dispensing judgement where one would go. Alongside birth of the concept of soul as being an independent existence in humans. And it being reborn or spending time in heaven.

So today believers live far away from achieving merger with consciousness of reality.

*Historical epochs are sourced from Wikipedia.