Some hilarious quotes from celebrities.

Some hilarious quotes from celebrities.

When I die, I want to die like my Grand- father who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in the car which he was driving .

 ~Will Rogers

Never under any circumstance take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 ~Dave Barry

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 ~Miles Kington

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

~Mark Twain

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born.?

~Benny Hill

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

~Emo Philips

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

~Charles Wadsworth

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

~Isaac Asimov

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

~Mark Twain

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic.?

~Lily Tomlin

If it's sent by ship, then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

~Dave Allen

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

~Agatha Christie

The man who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on.

~Robert Bloch

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

~Oscar Wilde

A lesson to learn - Never underestimate the capacities of your adversary

Never underestimate the power / capacities of your adversary.

The only bird that dares to peck an eagle is the black Drongo . It sits on the eagle's back and bites its neck. However, the eagle doesn't respond or fight with the Drongo. It does not spend time or energy with the Drongo. It just opens its wings and begins to fly higher in the sky. The higher the flight, the harder it is for the Drango to breathe and the Drongo eventually falls due to lack of oxygen. Not all battles you need to respond to. Not all arguments or critics you need to respond to or answer back. Just lift up a standard, they'll fall off! Stop wasting time with the 'ravens'. Just take them to your height and they'll fade away.  

The enemy may sit on your back and bite your neck... But remember, "the race is not for the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor the bread to the wise, nor riches to men of skill, but time and chances happen to them all." May the universe take you to a height where it'll be difficult for the enemies to peck on you !